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  1. Loss of Affection In Marriage: Love May Be Hidden, But It Never Left
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Select 'OK' to allow Verizon Media and our partners to use your data, or 'Manage options' to review our partners and your choices. Tip: Sign In to save these choices and avoid repeating this across devices. Talk to him, and go to counciling and find someone that will help you. I am glad that you wrote and from what you said, he was a good man.

Loss of Affection In Marriage: Love May Be Hidden, But It Never Left

I think he Still is a good man, but unfortuantly, has found drinking to help him cope. No, its not the right way, but alot of people, do resort to drinking.

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I know someoone that did the same thing, is now an alcoholic. His self esteem was killed, and started drinking. He is depressed and its evident when he drinks alot. Alot of stuff comes to the surface, I hope you and your husband get back the happiness you once did….

God Bless you, I do wish you the best. I agree with the other two posts. Make your plan to leave if he will not accept your boundaries.

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  • People do not change until they are uncomfortable. When you tell him what you will not tolerate, have a plan to leave in case he cannot abide by your request. Verbal and physical abuse will beat you down until you cannot see a way out. Choose not to be a victim. Find a friend that can listen or find a counselor YOU can discuss the issue with.

    I have been where your wife is right now. Women look at sex differently than men. Women see it as a connection to their spouse or showing how much they love their spouse. It maybe that what you want to experiment with is something she has never done or thinks of it as dirty.

    I would recommend that you two discuss your requests and how she feels about it. Her actions are definitely reflecting that she is not happy with the idea. Be sincere when you ask her to talk about and do not bow up like a cobra when she is honest with how she feels. It is her feeling, not yours and you do not have to own it.

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    I know when I am tired, worn out and know that tomorrow will be the same, the last thing I want is to be pressured for sex. There is more to the marriage than just sex. Sit down with her when you both have time to discuss her feelings about your offer and be open to her comments. Also, write down what else is important in your marriage other than sex. Marriage is the whole package. I would hate to think you gave up a sweet person over one aspect of marriage. I wish you the best of luck. My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years now.

    We used to be that couple that were a force to be rekend with. We could accomplish anything together. In we had our first child together I had a son from a previous marriage. Things were perfect. When our son was 2 months old he went down for his morning nap, and he never woke up. Our relationship has been difficult ever since. We were toxic for each other over the next year. There was a lot of fighting. I sank myself into a change in careers and went back to school while he supported us. During that time we found out we were expecting a little girl.

    She was born in Things were getting better for us.

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    • I graduated and found a job quickly. He cannot hold a job for more than 6 months this is not typical for him. This has caused me to just pull away. Hope for the future, hope for getting through to him so he can realize how bad he treats you. You hold out for change. Things will either get better or worse or you will get fed up. There was a pattern somewhere in his life that taught him this….

      To keep you down, keep you isolated for his security reasons. The put downs, the controlling behavior will only push you further away. Dont accept anything less than you feel you deserve or willing to compromise on.

      Two things will happen, he will change or you will change. He will change for the better or worse.

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      You will change for better or worse. Work on your family and friend relationships and get relationship counseling. THIS is rare…. I can tell you. You have to decide enough is enough and value yourself and if he values you as much he will try to figure out a healthier way to cope with his anxiety.

      If he refuses to reflect on himself and change so your a happier healthier person, you have to value yourself enough to move on. Good luck. Hi, sorry you are going through this. Give the kids extra love and attention they need it. Take care of yourself too and good luck. Hi I was reading your story…. My outside perspective when you said that when you got with him he was in an unhappy marriage, that was a huge red flag for me. It shows when things get him down, he looks elsewhere for happiness. The problem is within him.

      Perfection and someone who takes full responsibility for your happiness. Take care of yourself, and know this shows his character flaws. Not yours. My wife and I have been married for almost 11 years and we are the parents of 4 beautiful children.